If you’ve ever been ghosted, you know how brutal it feels. One minute you’re texting like usual, the next… silence. No explanation, no goodbye, just a vanishing act.
It’s confusing, hurtful, and honestly? It messes with your self-worth. In this post, I’m sharing how I handled being ghosted and what helped me move forward with clarity.
He cut off all communication. No text. No call. Not even the basic human decency of a “Hey, I’m done here.”
He blocked me, changed his number, and vanished into silence. At first, I genuinely thought something terrible had happened.
Maybe he was in the hospital. Perhaps he’d been kidnapped. Yes, I have a very active imagination. So I intensified my efforts to reach him.
Radio silence. And that’s when it hit me that I’d been ghosted.
What is Ghosting?
The short version? Ghosting is when someone ends a relationship by completely cutting off communication without explanation, goodbye, or closure.
They stop responding to texts. They avoid your calls. They disappear like you never existed.
It’s the dating equivalent of being erased. Honestly, it’s one of the most soul-eroding ways to be rejected, not because it ends a relationship, but because it offers no respect, acknowledgment, and emotional resolution.
According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, at least 25% of people have experienced being ghosted.
That’s a lot of people wandering around with emotional bruises and no explanation.
Why Being Ghosted Hurts So Much
It’s not just that they left. It’s about being dismissed without so much as a sentence.
You don’t even get a bad breakup speech or a “we need to talk.” They think so little of you and your feelings that you don’t even get the courtesy of a post-it breakup like Carrie in Sex and the City.
You just stop existing in their world like a bug that got stepped on. And they keep moving.
The only time ghosting is even remotely excusable is if someone is trying to safely exit a dangerous or abusive situation. But most of the time? It’s just emotional cowardice.
And depending on how deep the relationship was, ghosting can leave you feeling emotionally gutted. I’ve been there and it’s brutal.
How to Respond to Being Ghosted Without Losing Your Mind
1. Don’t Try to Understand Being Ghosted
Listen, people who ghost are not deep thinkers when it comes to emotional maturity. They’re not subtle or complicated. They’re just inconsiderate.
You don’t need to draw a diagram to figure out what happened. This isn’t An Affair to Remember. It’s not a missed meeting at the Empire State Building. It’s not romantic. It’s just rude.
And trying to decode someone who decided you weren’t even worth a conversation will only drain you more.
2. Block Them Right Back
Yes, even if you think you still love them. Yes, even if you secretly hope they’ll come back and explain everything.
Spoiler: People who ghost often do come back, usually when they get bored, feel lonely, or want to test if you still care. You don’t need that drama rerun.
Block them on every platform and change your number if necessary. This is not revenge, it’s protection.
When someone disrespects your voice, time, and existence, you don’t owe them continued access to your life.
3. Hold a Cleansing Session
Remember that scene in Friends where Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe throw a boyfriend bonfire? Yeah, that. Or your version of it. Pack up everything that reminds you of him:-
- The hoodie.
- The gift cards.
- The weird ceramic owl they gave you “as a joke”.
- The t-shirt.
Donate it. Burn it. Ship it to a black hole. Whatever. Just get it out of your space. And don’t fall for the old “Can I swing by to pick up my stuff?” trick. That’s usually bait.
4. Start Living Your Best Life
That place you always went to together? Avoid it for now. That dish that makes you sob mid-bite?
Try something new. That playlist that hurts too much? Archive it. Now’s the time to start creating new associations.
- Take a class.
- Go dancing.
- Try boxing or axe throwing (emotionally satisfying).
- Learn to cook something bold.
- Laugh too loudly with your friends.
You don’t need to “move on” overnight. But you can shift the energy back toward yourself.
If you share friends, let him have custody. You have better things to rebuild, like your self-worth.
5. Make an Affirmation Wall
Yes, I did this, and it does work! After I got ghosted, I took Post-it notes and stuck them all over my bedroom wall. Each one said something I needed to believe again:-
- I am enough.
- I am lovable.
- I am not invisible.
- I am still here and I matter.
It felt silly at first. But after seeing those reminders every day? It helped. You get to be the voice that reminds you of what they failed to honor.
Do Not Chase What Disappeared
Don’t try to contact him through friends. Don’t stalk his Instagram. Don’t DM his cousin asking what happened. And for the love of your nervous system, do not show up at their workplace like some bunny boiling psycho.
You are not a character in their unfinished story. You are your whole, powerful, growing human.
The person who ghosted you might have vanished, but you are still here, and you haven’t ghosted yourself.
Want More Support?
Download the free Red Flag Checklist, which covers 25 signs you may be overgiving, disappearing, or shrinking in love and what to do when you realize it.
Ola is the founder of Harmony Zone and Love & Self-Esteem, a platform dedicated to helping people break free from emotionally draining relationships and reconnect with their inner power. Learn more here…
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